Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
