I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
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Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize