I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize