I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
there is glitter all over my balls
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
