well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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