note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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