I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
zippers are such a cool invention
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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