Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
