Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
