Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
