U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
The ass gains better be worth it
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