So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
