That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
