I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
