Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
