He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
