Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
