I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize