On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
