i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
