after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
