don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
only if we run a train.
done.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
