so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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