Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My cat gives me a boner
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Liz is crying about burritos again.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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