How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
