those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
