He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
