nut hugger
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
