can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I want a musical about memes.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
