If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
