her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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