Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We had sex on a dog bed..
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize