It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
