It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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