She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
