It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
