if i can run in heels then i can drive
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
