member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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