So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize