Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
