That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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