I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
