Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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