mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
