I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
