Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have already put on my inside pants.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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