my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
