Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
