Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
