if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
