haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize