I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize