I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
