Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
