Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
vagina is talking i cant
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
