i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The adults are the big ones right?
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