hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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