Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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