Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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